Half Widows of Kashmir
The land of high passes is one of the most scenic regions in the state of Jammu and Kashmir which tops any traveler’s bucket list including mine. A visit to the city of Srinagar early this year led to an experience that was both enchanting and ironic. While the city of Leh gave me some of the best postcard pictures, it also left me with deep seeded thought. I stayed with a family who sublet their apartment seasonally. Their hospitality and kindness kept me warm as the harsh cold wind blew outside. One evening, as I sat with them to have hot herbal tea, they told me about Srinagar — their homeland. The couple explained about the state of Kashmir and its residents during the partition of India and Pakistan that happened in 1947. My hosts were one amongst many families that witnessed were exposed to the violence and political instability that followed Kashmir’s accession to India. Post the accession, the violence and communal riots between the Hindus and Muslims increased causing the death of thousands of Kashmiris. Fearing the securities and a stable future, many of the families moved out of Srinagar and settled in other areas; one such couple who moved away from the violent platform to a more peaceful area, were the ones who were telling me about this intense, melancholic situation of Kashmir. Mass media and reporters have shorn light into the communal violence and mass revolts, what they don’t emphasis on is the bruised lives of half widows of Kashmir.
The half widow — who is she?
The civilians in Jammu, Kashmir valley and Baltistan have been resilient and have overcome the communal riots, protests, shutdowns and killings that came as result of state oppression that has lasted since 1947. Men and women have been subjected to torture and sometimes death based on their ethnicity and their political choices. Further, The Association of Parents of Disappeared Persons estimates that around 10000 men (civilians and militants) have disappeared since the beginning of armed struggle in 1990s; over half of them were survived by wives who lead a life of what has been termed as a “half-widow”. A half widow is both a wife and a widow who occupies these functional spaces but is welcomed in neither. She leads a life filled with untold misery and is lost in a routine of circling the police station, court and army camps in pursuit of her companion. She faces socio-economic uncertainties and is also financially challenged. Further a strong religious belief, societal pressure and backwardness prevents her from a re-marriage.
Social and Financial issues faced by the Half widows:
Half widows have become the sole bread winners for their family and have the responsibility of bringing up the children who are ironically recognised as ‘half-orphans’. Financial challenges faced by them are profuse. Claim on husband’s property, pension, bank account access and the ration card transferred to the another name requires a valid death certificate which legally cannot be issued for a missing person. This makes it all the more difficult for women who have lost their husbands. The monetary aid offered by the government of India has been ineffective and pointless as they require an approval from the district screening cum coordination committee which certifies that the missing person was not involved in militant activity rather than providing for the financial condition of the family or the number of dependent family members left behind.
One of the biggest dilemma faced by the half widows is that of re-marriage. In most of the cases, the religious jurisprudence especially in Hanafi sect of Sunni Muslims requires the wife of a disappeared person to wait for 90 years after which she can remarry. A more realistic decree requires the Muslim widows to wait for 4 years and 10 days before they get married again. In both cases the second marriage is considered invalid and will automatically break if the first husband returns. However, this law came into existence as recently as 2013 and has come in far too late for the women who are still waiting for their husbands, after nearly 20 years of their disappearance with some rays of hope. The lack of a firm governmental policy or a law regarding re marriage leaves the half widows in a situation where they are subjected to post-traumatic stress disorders, depression and are deprived of love and affection that a woman deserves.
The role played (and ignored) by NGOs and Media:
Embroiled in armed struggles for over 2 decades now, Kashmir has attracted hundreds of NGOs and societies. Over 16000 NGOs are found registered in Jammu and Kashmir which have been working under the aegis of government, close relatives of bureaucrats, politicians, well-off families and people who have been a part of counter insurgency think tanks (India Mapped). Some of the recognised NGOs established in Kashmir are Hope foundation, Shuddi and Rotary. The primary focus has been towards public awareness campaigns, peace initiatives, communal harmony, child care and education and women empowerment. There is no record of an organisational activity for skill development or education for the half widows. The NGOs focus is more towards a harmonious co-existence, whereas the mental health of women and children especially the half widows and orphans requires large scale attention.
The mainstream media’s coverage of Kashmir is biased as the focus has been more on the violence within the state or with that of Pakistan. Very rarely are there columns dedicated to the lives and livelihoods of the people in Kashmir and the turmoil they are subjected to. The news about the plight of a half widow finds its voice in online magazines like The Wire, Scroll, Al Jazeera and monthly news columns which are restricted to a very minor set of readers. This becomes one of the major issues as we are a part of a media saturated society and derive awareness and information through mass media.
The people of Kashmir lead a life that is anything but ordinary; the definitions of natural and normal that exists in Kashmir today is unimaginable to most of the people who live just miles away from Kashmir. The civilians and their families have been regulated by the violent and volatile situation in the state. The government, media and the support organisations have to devote more attention to the people and their living conditions. The women, especially the half widows and children, require extensive support and care be it through governmental or non-governmental initiatives that will generate economic self-sustainability and help them lead a better life.